12 Things Guests Are Secretly Judging You for Having in Your Home

Admit it, we all do it!

Before we delve deeper, it’s important to acknowledge that you are the ultimate authority in your home and have the freedom to decorate as you please. If you have a fondness for artificial plants, go ahead and create a plastic garden. If organizing your entryway isn’t a priority, feel free to revel in the mix of packages, keys, mail, and shoes. Your home, your rules.

However, even though we believe everyone should live according to their preferences, it doesn’t mean we can’t have opinions. Individuals with a keen eye for design – whether they be interior designers, editors, or design enthusiasts – find it challenging to refrain from assessing the decor choices in someone else’s home. This tendency may be rooted in the fact that critiquing others’ home decor can provide a sense of validation for our own design choices.

Feeling Inadequate About Your Home During the Holidays?

It’s common to be hard on yourself when comparing your home to others, especially during the holidays. According to Niro Feliciano, a cognitive therapist, people often feel inadequate when visiting others’ homes and think their own homes are not as decorated or clean as those they see.

Challenges in Home Decorating

Even Feliciano cannot resist the urge to mentally critique a family home with spotless carpets and furniture. She acknowledges that individuals with children who encounter a white sofa or carpet in someone else’s home tend to assume, “Their kids must not be allowed to do anything in this house—I doubt they even enter that room!” Feliciano reveals that this reaction is partly to make themselves feel better about their own messy homes. Deep down, they might secretly desire a white couch but express it through judgmental thoughts. People tend to concoct narratives about others based on their home environments.

Exploring Judgment in Home Design

Embracing the notion of “if you have nothing nice to say, join me right here,” we conducted inquiries to uncover what aspects individuals criticize in others’ homes. The burning question remains: What specific details attract your discerning gaze?

Misleading Bookshelves

“Bookshelves are intended for storing books, not a display of meaningless decorations,” states Katie Wolf of Wolf Interiors in Atlanta, Georgia. She emphasizes that fake books, painted books, or books disguised with decorative paper should be avoided. Wolf suggests that bookshelves should ideally be filled with real books, ranging from yearbooks and paperbacks to cookbooks and magazines, rather than random decorative items like orbs or vases. While building a library with authentic books may be a gradual process, adding meaningful pieces can help complete the look. For instance, placing framed photos on eye-level shelves can be a thoughtful touch, though scattering photos and objects randomly across all shelves can create visual clutter. If reading isn’t a part of your lifestyle, Wolf advises against filling shelves with geodes or other irrelevant items just for the sake of it. She mentions that if bookshelves cannot be filled with books or meaningful decor, they can be omitted entirely.

Dealing with an Excess of Decorative Objects

According to Dorcia Kelley, a Creative Design Specialist based in Brooklyn, having an abundance of accessories in your home is something she frowns upon. She believes in the importance of curating your space and avoiding clutter akin to overcrowded store shelves.

A Stack of Shoes near the Entrance

Robin Paulson, a dance educator residing in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, expresses her dislike for the practice of guests having to remove their shoes upon entering a home. She highlights the inconvenience of meticulously matching one’s outfit only to have to remove their shoes, potentially dirtying their clothing. Paulson raises concerns not just about personal attire but also about societal implications, questioning the appropriateness of exposing guests to unsightly foot conditions like bunions during festive gatherings.

Negative Energy Flow

Elsa Mehary, a Creative Strategist in Brooklyn, shares her insights on recognizing bad Feng Shui in homes. While walking through an apartment, she mentally reorganizes the space and identifies areas of discord or clutter based on her light study of Feng Shui. Despite noticing these issues, Elsa refrains from mentioning them, except when it comes to plant health and relationships. She mentions commenting on dead or spiky plants and giving advice on bed placement – suggesting that a bed should be freely accessible from both sides for a harmonious relationship, unless the owner prefers staying single.

A Cluttered Kitchen Counter

“I tend to assess individuals based on the presence of visual mess, especially in frequently used areas,” mentions Joanna Saltz, an editorial director. “While my own place may have clutter, I usually stash it away in the laundry room or bedroom when guests visit.”

Toilet Paper Unspooling in the Incorrect Way

Being considerate not to criticize, Noz Nozawa from Noz Design in San Francisco understands the unique habits of her clients, even those who allow their small dogs to eat on the table. As an avid dog-lover, she harbors no judgment. However, there is one issue she can’t overlook: the improper orientation of the toilet paper roll. With a designer’s eye, she feels the need to correct this small but significant detail. Nozawa firmly believes that having the loose end of the toilet paper coming from the back of the roll is simply unacceptable. After encountering various toilet paper holders in her line of work, she has mastered the art of swiftly fixing such discrepancies.

Window Treatments

“Noticing poorly fitted and wrinkled drapes bought off the shelf is hard to ignore,” states Elizabeth Angell, a contributing editor. “While custom window treatments can be pricey, investing in heavy, lined drapery panels, properly ironing them, and having them hemmed to fit your space can make a significant difference.”

Pretentious Pot-Fillers

According to Santa Fe artist Bonnie Sachs, pot fillers at ranges may seem convenient for filling pasta pots, but they lack practicality when it comes to lifting the hot pot back to the sink. While they may look stylish above the cooktop, Sachs views them as nothing more than a superficial status symbol.

Faulty Light Bulbs

“I prefer Warm and Dim: The Lighting Essentials”

“I cannot tolerate those dreadful bright, white bulbs that give off an interrogation room vibe,” states Market Director Carisha Swanson. “I gravitate towards warm lighting with dimmer options. Even overly bright street lights annoy me with their surgical-like intensity.” She suggests trying out GE Relax bulbs for a softer lighting alternative.

Oversized Photo Portraits

Lavinia Moss, a mother of three in Manhattan, shares her perspective on large family photos displayed in common areas. She believes that family photos should not be considered art and should instead be placed in more private spaces, as suggested by designers. Moss prefers smaller family photos in frames on tables or shelves, with a maximum size of 5×7. She finds oversized blown-up photos on walls to be somewhat tacky, especially those featuring a series of images from the same shoot but with different family members. She recommends placing such displays in less prominent areas like back hallways or bedrooms.

A Noticeable Absence of Liquid Soap

Nicolas Neubeck, The Home Designer’s creative director, emphasizes the drawbacks of shared bar soap, particularly when it is left in a dish of dirty water.

Kids

New York City ophthalmologist Richard Levy humorously points out that the presence of children in a friend’s home is often a source of judgment, as he states, “What do I judge my friends for when I see it in their home? Children. And you can quote me on that.”

This serves as a reminder that personal preferences vary significantly when it comes to decorating a home, demonstrating that what one person may find distasteful, another might cherish.